Personal happiness has become an idol.
There. I said it.
That’s not a popular take, and it’s one that can easily be misunderstood, but at the end of the day, I sincerely believe that the American brand of Christianity has made an idol out of personal happiness.
Let me be clear. This doesn’t mean the Lord wants you and me to be miserable. I say this because stoicism is making a comeback, and if we aren’t careful, we’ll swing all the way to the other extreme of joyless endurance of hard things; never smiling, and never celebrating the good things God has done.
If that last sentence describes you or your church, perhaps you or your church have made an idol out of pain and misery, and if so, I’d recommend reading what I wrote about that a few months ago.
My point here, though, is that anything that controls us becomes our god, and if our lives aren’t being led by Yahweh, then we’ve put something else in His place.
That something else is what we call an idol, and a simple glance at the lives of many in the American church will reveal that personal happiness is that idol.
“But, God wants me to be happy, right?” It’s a fair question, and I think the answer is yes, but only if what is making you happy isn’t also something that breaks His heart. “I love this time of year! The leaves, pumpkin spice, and sweater weather really make me happy,” is one thing. “My wife is always nagging me, but my co-worker is so nice, and when I’m with her, she really makes me happy,” is a whole other thing.
Too many have justified sin because it made them happy in the moment.
Of course, my guess is that you probably agree with that statement, and so maybe that’s too easy of an example. But what about when we find ourselves in hard situations with no clear way out? Isn’t our initial response often just to assume God doesn’t want us in any circumstance – sinful or not – that is difficult?
“Ever since I decided to follow Jesus – to learn and live His ways – life has gotten so hard. Clearly, Christianity doesn’t work!”
If we base every decision on how happy the outcome will make us, we’ll frequently find ourselves asking God to get us out of places He may have led us into, and the result of that will be frustration.
If we base every decision on how happy the outcome will make us, we’ll frequently find ourselves asking God to get us out of places He may have led us into. Click To TweetI see that hand. Did you have a question?
“Yes. Are you saying that God would intentionally lead me into a place or circumstance that won’t make me happy? I’m not sure that I believe that.”
I hear you, and I totally understand the struggle with that concept. Maybe a few scriptures will help.
Then Jesus was led by the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted by the devil. (Matthew 4:1, emphasis mine)
During the days of Jesus’ life on earth, he offered up prayers and petitions with fervent cries and tears to the one who could save him from death, and he was heard because of his reverent submission. Son though he was, he learned obedience from what he suffered… (Hebrews 5:7-8, emphasis mine)
He withdrew about a stone’s throw beyond them, knelt down and prayed, “Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done.” And being in anguish, he prayed more earnestly, and his sweat was like drops of blood falling to the ground. (Luke 22:41-42, 44, emphasis mine)
About three in the afternoon Jesus cried out in a loud voice, “Eli, Eli, lema sabachthani?” (which means “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?”). (Matthew 27:46, emphasis mine)
The point? If Jesus wasn’t living His best life now, what makes us think we’re supposed to? Jesus found Himself on multiple occasions in situations that were anything but happy, and yet, He never lost sight of the joy in it all. The writer of Hebrews even says that it was specifically FOR THE JOY that Jesus endured the cross (that’s Hebrews 12:2).
Jesus knew that joy through suffering lasts longer and resides deeper than happiness in circumstance. And if He was living for more than just happiness, maybe it’s not a bad thing for us to, as well.
A hard thing, yes. But not a bad thing, and just like Jesus found joy on the other side of the cross, you and I will find it on the other side of the things He’s promised to help us bear, too.
A few more scriptures will help us land this plane.
But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. (Matthew 6:33, emphasis mine)
Command those who are rich in this present world not to be arrogant nor to put their hope in wealth, which is so uncertain, but to put their hope in God, who richly provides us with everything for our enjoyment.
(1 Timothy 6:17, emphasis mine)
Dear friend, I pray that you may enjoy good health and that all may go well with you, even as your soul is getting along well. It gave me great joy when some believers came and testified about your faithfulness to the truth, telling how you continue to walk in it. I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth. (3 John 1:2-4, emphasis mine)
If you’ve read this far, you may be thinking this blog post is the desert the Spirit has led you into, so let me wrap it up this way: God doesn’t want you to be miserable, but because He’s a good Father, He can use the things that make us miserable to prepare us for the things that will fill us with joy.
That’s why happiness is good, but it can’t be the goal.
Happiness is good, but it can't be the goal. Click To TweetSo the next time you aren’t happy, don’t simply assume you’re supposed to be. Instead, ask God if there is joy waiting for you that will only be revealed through that circumstance, and if He says yes, ask Him for the strength and grace to stand in it.
And then? Well, as Ephesians 6:13 says, once you’ve done everything you know to stand, just stand.
After all, the joy doesn’t come from the suffering, but instead, knowing Who is standing with you in it.
Photo by averie woodard on Unsplash
